More bad opinions.  Don’t worry about arguing or talking me out of them. They’re mine and I love them. They’re my babies.

Star Wars Movies Are Universally Awful

The first six of them anyway.  I have tried to watch them.  I really have but they’re terrible.  The first three were just garden-variety shitty.  The ones with Liam Neeson were only slightly better made but the story was just as awful.  They are so so bad where to even begin.   The first ones with Luke and Laura (Leia, I know I know) were just so poorly edited.  Supposedly they were going for a Saturday matinee serial feel but it just made it feel choppy and disjointed to me. The acting on a whole was stilted and amateur. Plus, the kid playing NSync Vader in the movies with Black Swan was the worst actor ever. Worst actor ever.

Oh and one more thing. Jar Jar Binks.  Someone thought that that character was cute and an excellent addition to the SW pantheon of aliens.  That person was on huge doses of ecstasy for the creation of that thing.  Nothing but drugs can explain that away.  There was nothing not teeth-gratingly annoying about him.  What were they thinking? Oh yeah, drugs.  Lots and lots of drugs.

 

Baseball Sucks

Slowly losing the will to live?  Need that little nudge off the ledge?  Watch a fucking baseball game.  Er mer gerd.  There is nothing more boring than baseball.  Let’s watch a game where every single step is excruciatingly slow and dull. Oo oo, let’s make each game last about 6.34 hours too!  We’ll sit in these horribly uncomfortable chairs for hours and maybe, just maybe something exciting will happen. No, it’s just guys spitting and grabbing their dicks every 2 seconds. As your spine begins to calcify and your muscles atrophy, you wait for a big play to make it all worthwhile. It’s not going to happen. It’s never going to happen.

The Satanic Majesties who control baseball couldn’t just let it squeak by being boring as fuck. They had to come up with a way to make it worse, But how? How?  They put their horned noggins together and came up with an infernal plan.  They made each baseball season 311 games and 9 months long.  Baseball season never ends.  It’s literally snowing at the beginning and end of the fucking season.  The only time they’re not playing fucking baseball is in the bleakest midwinter when even a boring diversion would be welcome. No, baseball has got to ruin the best times of the year with its boring bullshit. Fuck baseball.

 

I Don’t Want To Pet Your Dog

Yes, I’m very sure he’s a nice dog.  Oh, he doesn’t bite? That’s great, yeah.  No, no…I’m sure he’s a very good boy.  Yes, very cute.  Labrawhat?  Ohhh…Labradoodle. Uh huh.  No, that’s okay. I’m good.  Yeah, sure I like dogs.  No, I’m not afraid of dogs. I just don’t want to pet…oh great, he’s a jumper I see. Super drooly too. Umm…I got to go now and wash my hands.  Yeah, thanks. Cute dog…

I like dogs.  Dogs are cute. All dogs are good boys/girls some just have bad humans.  I’m a fan of them.  I think most people become better versions of themselves when they have a dog. I’m go for Team Dog.  That being said I’m not obligated to pet your dog. I don’t want to pet every dog.  I am discriminating in my canine interactions.  Sometimes I’m just not in the mood. Sometimes the dog is just dirty or stinky and I’d rather not.  It’s nothing personal. I still like your doggo even if I don’t pet it.  It’s not a personal affront if I choose not to.  I’m not here for nonconsensual pet interactions.  He’s still a good boy though.