I’m not exactly a showy super outgoing person. I’m pretty open with my friends and family, but for the most part, I was raised to be somewhat circumspect in public. My mom was one of those who didn’t tell family business outside of the house parents. For all the reasons you think, but we’re not going to go into that for right now.

I’m gay have been my whole life. I’ve also been what we call nowadays gender nonconforming. When I was little it was just being a tomboy. It was a little harder as I got older. My mother was very intent on me not being too obviously gay.

Even as an adult, I would refrain from cutting my hair too short. My mother was always displeased when I did and would tell me I looked like a man. She said I would be so much prettier if I let my hair grow. Which is definitely not the goal I was shooting for. Her admonitions and opinion stayed with me for a very long time. Up until just recently, actually.

Prior to my having foot surgery, I got my hair cut really short. Mostly because it’s going to be easier to take care of. The first morning, I went to the hospital for surgery and the guy at the desk called me sir. Up until just a few years ago, that really would have bothered me. It didn’t even phase me.

It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter to me anymore. I realize that all my hangups about my gender presentation came from my mom and her perceptions of me. Not mine. So I’d like to clear a few things up.

My physical body is obviously female. My inner being is not. When I think of myself I don’t think of myself as a woman. Sometimes I don’t feel like anything, sometimes I feel like both. I do not feel female. I never have, it’s never been something I’ve embraced. I’ve not because it’s not who I am. Am I a man? No, I don’t have any interest in changing my sex. Because this is who I am. Who I am is non-binary.

It doesn’t mean anything has changed about me. I know there are people who discover that they’re non-binary who then might change their physical appearance in some way. Like having surgery or taking hormones. I’m already there. I am already a masculine presenting person. So call me sir, call me lady, call me them… I’ll answer to any. Any pronouns apply.

So, being a circumspect and somewhat of private person, why am I saying this? Why say anything at all? I’m in my 50s . Who the Hell cares? Well, the Arkansas legislature does, as do the governments of several other states. They are trying to make it illegal for anybody to present as the gender they were not born as. So, for those of you who think these are just anti-drag show laws, they are not.

They are anti-trans laws. You don’t have to be trans to be affected. I could be arrested if some of these laws pass just for dressing the way I do every day. So that’s why. I am going to be a visible part of the community. It is my community, and it’s in danger. So I am making this public and asking my friends and family to please please support your LGTBQ+ friends and family members and vote against bigotry.

YES, I’m publically appealing to all of you, because these bans affect me. So now when you think, “why should I care?” You should care because you know somebody who will be hurt. Me. Everybody should have the right to be the person they wish to be…their true authentic selves. I want the same freedom for you and your children that I’m asking for myself. Bad things are headed our way. We need support from our straight allies more than ever. Don’t abandon us.