I’m not exactly a showy super outgoing person. I’m pretty open with my friends and family, but for the most part, I was raised to be somewhat circumspect in public. My mom was one of those who didn’t tell family business outside of the house parents. For all the reasons you think, but we’re not going to go into that for right now.

I’m gay have been my whole life. I’ve also been what we call nowadays gender nonconforming. When I was little it was just being a tomboy. It was a little harder as I got older. My mother was very intent on me not being too obviously gay.

Even as an adult, I would refrain from cutting my hair too short. My mother was always displeased when I did and would tell me I looked like a man. She said I would be so much prettier if I let my hair grow. Which is definitely not the goal I was shooting for. Her admonitions and opinion stayed with me for a very long time. Up until just recently, actually.

Prior to my having foot surgery, I got my hair cut really short. Mostly because it’s going to be easier to take care of. The first morning, I went to the hospital for surgery and the guy at the desk called me sir. Up until just a few years ago, that really would have bothered me. It didn’t even phase me.

It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter to me anymore. I realize that all my hangups about my gender presentation came from my mom and her perceptions of me. Not mine. So I’d like to clear a few things up.

My physical body is obviously female. My inner being is not. When I think of myself I don’t think of myself as a woman. Sometimes I don’t feel like anything, sometimes I feel like both. I do not feel female. I never have, it’s never been something I’ve embraced. I’ve not because it’s not who I am. Am I a man? No, I don’t have any interest in changing my sex. Because this is who I am. Who I am is non-binary.

It doesn’t mean anything has changed about me. I know there are people who discover that they’re non-binary who then might change their physical appearance in some way. Like having surgery or taking hormones. I’m already there. I am already a masculine presenting person. So call me sir, call me lady, call me them… I’ll answer to any. Any pronouns apply.

So, being a circumspect and somewhat of private person, why am I saying this? Why say anything at all? I’m in my 50s . Who the Hell cares? Well, the Arkansas legislature does, as do the governments of several other states. They are trying to make it illegal for anybody to present as the gender they were not born as. So, for those of you who think these are just anti-drag show laws, they are not.

They are anti-trans laws. You don’t have to be trans to be affected. I could be arrested if some of these laws pass just for dressing the way I do every day. So that’s why. I am going to be a visible part of the community. It is my community, and it’s in danger. So I am making this public and asking my friends and family to please please support your LGTBQ+ friends and family members and vote against bigotry.

YES, I’m publically appealing to all of you, because these bans affect me. So now when you think, “why should I care?” You should care because you know somebody who will be hurt. Me. Everybody should have the right to be the person they wish to be…their true authentic selves. I want the same freedom for you and your children that I’m asking for myself. Bad things are headed our way. We need support from our straight allies more than ever. Don’t abandon us.

It’s been a minute since I’ve posted. A couple of years maybe? I started this blog out of a need to vent. Trumpism and the fascist direction he was driving the country towards were horrifying. I also used it as a way to share my journey as a person navigating the world. A new relationship and a new job distracted me from my blog. They also distracted me from the personal work I’d been doing to deal with the traumas I’ve endured. The job and the relationship are gone, so here I am again.

I was raised to work. Period. It’s what you do. Growing up in poverty meant you scrambled for every penny. Missing a shift could mean missing your rent payment. You worked no matter what. Sick? Go to work. Depressed? Go to work. I had a heart attack and was back at work two weeks later. Why? Because I was going to have to be on unpaid leave. You do not miss paychecks. So I have worked, steadily, solidly, and dependably for 35 years. There have multiple times I worked or went to work when it wasn’t healthy or safe for me to do so. Why? I work. It’s who I am. I may not be the best employee, but you could always count on me to be there.

Because of the obviously, dysfunctional relationship I have with work, I have neglected my physical and mental health for my job. I never even considered doing otherwise. My first priority is working. I have an extremely panful injury to my foot. It’s difficult to be on my feet for any length of time due to the pain. It’s progressively gotten worse over the last year or so. I wear a brace and have been prescribed pain meds. I have hobbled along with it steadily getting worse, and me upping my Vicodin dose as it did so. Needless to say, an employee taking that many pain pills is not going to be successful. The pain got worse and worse, as did my performance until I just couldn’t do it anymore. I can’t work in my current state, I’ve exceeded safe dosage levels for my pain meds and the pain make it impossible for me to function in a professional way. Even doing basic day to day stuff is proving difficult.

So I’m not working, which is absolutely terrifying. I’m going to be having a particularly nasty sounding surgery on my foot (Breaking/fusing bones, etc.). That doesn’t scare me…not working does. I’m waiting for my disability approval to go through and I’ll breathe a little once that does. I have had a burning hole in my stomach for a week. Everyone tells me to rest and relax and I am having a difficult time. It’s not just the financial uncertainty of it all. Work has been my life for so long. Now I have to figure out who I am without it. Now, it seems I have the time.

Another blog post about another mass shooting. Another white supremacist with easy access to weapons of war has committed atrocities in the name of “preserving” the white race.  This time in two mosques in Christchurch, New Zealand. Almost 50 people dead, their murders live streamed on facebook like a video game.  Horror upon horror visited upon people in a house of worship, communing with God.  These peaceful people engaged in reverent prayer were executed for posing a threat to “white homelands”.

The 14 words of white supremacists, “We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white children.”  This slogan, created by a racial terrorist from the 1980s has been used as a reason in multiple terrorist acts by white men.  It’s ubiquitous in the world of white supremacists. It’s the idea that nonwhite, non-Christians are trying to end the white race, either by shifting demographics or outright invasion.  When people talk about declining white birthrates…what they mean is that brown people are breeding faster and we will stop being the majority in our country.  The “National Emergency” at our border is all about keeping nonwhites out and keeping America pure. The only pure American…the only real American is a white American.

This ideology has spread to everywhere white people are a majority. As our racists here looked in the past to Nazi Germany for inspiration, many aspiring racists now look to us.  We have become the xenophobic torchbearers for white nationalism.  Our nation has gone from a beacon of openness and freedom to one of religious bans and walls.  In the long drawn out history of freedom and liberty, we have gone from hero to villain in the span of only a few years. Guys…I don’t know if you understand, but we’re the bad guys now.

I’m white. In fact, I’m about as white as a person can get. Not only that but my family has been in America since the 1600s, on both sides. I have ancestors who fought in the Revolution and the Civil War, as well as both World Wars. I’m also about as “American” as a person can get.  Me, and people like me, are what these people are killing others to “protect”. If you are white, they are killing in your name. If you are white, they are killing in your name…I  want you to understand that.  They are killing other human beings because they are of “less value” than we are.  Think about that.  Sit with that.

I am finding it very hard to see this changing. This is coming from an optimist, someone who always finds hope no matter how hard I have to look.  White America doesn’t seem outraged by this, in fact, we seem nonplussed.  I want to scream…”DON’T YOU SEE WHAT WE’RE BECOMING? WHAT WE’VE BECOME?”  All those things my forefathers fought and died for; truth, liberty, fairness, equality…just pissed away.  Thrown away, rendered meaningless by our fear of “other”.  My Grandfather fought Nazis in Europe and now we tolerate them. In fact, now we elect them. How do we, as white Americans come back from this??  How in God’s name do we fix this?? Can we?  Better question, do most of you even want to?

 

 

 

 

What’s the worst thing you can call a white person?  Expletives? Insults? What really upsets them? Want to see a white person get super indignant?  Tell them they’re racist. Hell, don’t even call them one outright…just infer it and watch the sputtering rage.  Or don’t even call them one, just imply whites in general are.  That’s all it takes to crank white people up…the very idea that white people are racist.  Which is crazy because, well, white people are racist.

Not all white people!  I’m not a racist!  I have black friends and our kids play together! I’ve dated people of color, how can I be racist?  I treat everyone the same regardless of color..black, white, brown, purple it doesn’t matter to me! I always speak up when people say racist things!  I don’t stand for unequal treatment for anyone!!  I’m one of the good ones!

Let’s set one thing straight. This isn’t about individual actions. I don’t do racist things and try to be really mindful in my actions at all times. I’ve had difficult conversations with people about race and how it shapes our reality.  I try very hard to accept people exactly as they are and where they are. I am also a racist.  I was the moment I was born. If you’re white, so were you.

America is racist.  Our entire society is racially biased, it’s core being white supremacy.  It’s been designed and maintained to benefit us. I’ve gone over this in earlier blogs and it’s easy enough to verify. Of course, we never learned this in any of our history classes. That was the history of the dominant voice. White history.  Of course, it highlights the bravery and ingenuity of the white race. History is written by the victors, who often leave out exactly how they became victorious. ( Smallpox blankets anyone?)

We were told we were special.  Our nation was started by exceptional men who believed in liberty and justice for all. We were chosen by God to carve out a nation from the wilderness.  We were chosen because we were good, we were special in God’s eyes. America was blessed…how could we not be?  We built this mighty nation ourselves. America is great because it’s people are great. The problem lies in who we consider real Americans.  When we think of Americans we default to white.  Anyone else isn’t a “real” American.

Our entire system benefits “real” Americans.  You are born with that privilege if you’re white. It doesn’t matter if you’re from a poor white family. You still have advantages no person of color will have.  You are given a leg up.  You get to start the race 10 paces ahead. You benefit from the systemic racism our Founding Fathers (slaveholders many) built into the government. Disagree? Read the history of the electoral college. Read about the 13th amendment.(watch 13th on Netflix)  Dig deeper into what happened during Reconstruction.  America is a racist state and you benefit from that.

So, no you’re not burning crosses on someone’s lawn. You are still participating in a system of government that does not treat everyone equally.  You are living in a society that is downright dangerous for many people. (Today is Trayvon Martin’s birthday) We are more upset at being called a racist than we are about brown children being housed in concentration camps.  Until it changes, we are all complicit. We are all racist.

 

 

 

You might have noticed I haven’t posted for a while.  I’m not any less cranky.  I have been in a bit of a funk.  Which is a minimizing way of saying I’ve been depressed.  I’ve been finding it difficult to just get through my usual day, let alone sitting down and writing anything.  This isn’t anything I haven’t experienced before and I am currently not in any danger of self-harm.  I have a fantastic therapist who has done a stalwart job of shepherding me through these times.  However, this is the longest and deepest it’s ever been.  Only one or two people know and I’ve been thinking about that.  How we hide the vulnerable parts of ourselves.  Why we feel we need to.

I quite aware of why I do.  I had a mother who didn’t encourage weakness of any kind and a father who while, loving, was emotionally distant.  ” No one wants to hear about your problems.” my Mom would tell me.  You learn to keep your feelings, your pain, pretty much all those messy feelings inside.  So, I never learned how to cope with negative thoughts. I denied my pain. I drank…a lot. I told myself that so many people had it so much worse than me.  Who was I to complain?? However, when you don’t tend to your emotional wounds they never heal.  You can ignore them. You can deny you have them but they never really go away.

They manifest in other ways.  In my case, it’s a feeling of never being good enough or worthy of happiness.  That is a tough narrative to break as it is constantly reinforced, well, by life.  Every single uncomfortable or painful experience can be explained by my deserving what I get.  Of course, my marriage dissolved…I wasn’t a good or caring enough partner to keep it together.  Laid off?  Maybe if I wasn’t such a loser it wouldn’t have happened. See? Everything bad can be explained away as an inherent flaw in my being.  Everything good is temporary, how could it last if I am undeserving of joy?

Now, if you’ve read my blogs you know that life has ups and downs.  I understand that and have always been open to experiencing and sitting with the bad.  I’ve often said being a Buddhist is like being an archeologist.  You’re always digging to find the “underneath”.  You’re always peeling back the layers to see who you truly are.  I am usually adept at doing this.  The problem is when I’m depressed, “in my feelings” so to speak, my reality is distorted.  Everything gets filtered through that old festering trauma I’ve done my very best to bury. It makes self-reflection hard…the lens is too blurred to see clearly.  I keep trying to dig my way out and the dirt keeps being thrown back into my hole.  It’s fucking exhausting.  It is hard emotional labor and I just don’t have any energy for much else beyond basic living at the moment.

I don’t have any uplifting thoughts to end this with. I’m safe and will be okay.  If I need to there are people I can reach out to for help and will if I need to.  This won’t last forever, nothing ever does. I will dig my way out.  If you, or someone you love, needs help please reach out.  There are some of us out there who can’t shovel on our own.

 

 

Supposedly, as a Buddhist, I’m not supposed to judge people as “evil”.  Things are as they are, and we attach values and morals to that.  If we view people as “evil” we can justify treating them badly or harming them.  So, viewing someone as evil actually can create and foster even greater evil.  It’s inherent in Buddhist practice to try to not judge or categorize other people as being separate from ourselves regardless of their actions.  It’s also important not to fall into the trap of viewing ourselves as being morally superior. There is no good or bad…there just is.

However, Buddhism also teaches that suffering is common to everyone. I think we can all agree that’s true. Just look around you, turn on the news.  Today, a white man walked into a synagogue during a bris and massacred 11 people.  He shot them because they were Jewish, no other reason. Another white guy shot a couple of black people in a supermarket just for being black. They both viewed those people as being of no value. They were separate and different from them. These men demonized these groups in their heads until it became ok to kill them.  Everyone suffers and all suffering is at its fundamental root, caused by believing that we are separate from one another.

We’ve all heard of Karma.  Most of us have a very rudimentary view of how it works. I’ve heard people say it’s “karma” when a bad person has something awful happen to them. Like Karma is the cosmic justice system doling out divine retribution for assholes. We also don’t say “Oh well, Karma” when something terrible happens to a nice person do we? Karma is built up over many many lifetimes, and regardless of what John Lennon told you, it doesn’t come in an instant version. It’s more like soup, that you make over thousands of years.  Good wholesome ingredients make for a healthy delicious soup and as the saying goes…garbage in, garbage out.

So all of that being said…in my opinion, the acts of these men are evil. Wait, what? Yes, the acts were evil. You can choose two directions in this world.  Basically, all human behavior falls into two categories.  Not good and evil but beneficial or unbeneficial. If something you do adds to the greater good, well duh…that’s beneficial.  If you’re harming yourself or others that’s the opposite.  Everything you do every day falls somewhere on that spectrum.  It’s rarely ever black or white..sometimes you may be “semibeneficial”.  No one is perfect and altruistic all the time.  We are all imperfect beings and our actions often create suffering. If you are mindful of how you interact with people you can lessen that suffering you cause. The Dalai Lama says “Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.”  Your acts, beneficial and otherwise, are what create your karma. It’s is the vast sum of all your actions over multiple lifetimes, and according to some people, dimensions.

Lately, the world seems full of evil acts… bombs being sent through the mail, mass shootings, hate and vitriol every time you turn on the tv.  We can call them evil. On the scale of “unbeneficial”, they are.  There are some who follow the Buddhist path who attempt to never view any behavior as anything other than benign they view everything through a lens of nonattachment.  They don’t react and make it a point to not have opinions.  I can’t. I live in this world. I have a vested interest in all sentient beings being free of suffering. “Our prime purpose in this life is to help others.”

What can we do to change any of it? How do we help others?  This really easy. Stop being quiet about it.  All of these really awful horrible things happen and we go about our daily lives like they didn’t. There are STILL children incarcerated and separated from their parents.  Black people are STILL being brutalized by police. Powerful men are STILL not being held accountable for sexual assault.  Hate speech by our president is STILL being tolerated by most Americans.  All of us who view any of these things as evil have a responsibility to raise our voices and rail against it.  We can no longer be silent. We cannot be separate. We are literally our brother’s keeper.  The people fomenting such horrors are viewing our silence as acceptance. We are hurting others by doing nothing. That needs to end. As Buddhist author, Ethan Nichtern says,

“We’re in a very dark place but now is the time for bravery.

Now is the time to take back our political system and Vote.

Now is the time to be generous toward strangers.

 

**I am by no means an expert on Buddism. Just a lay practitioner.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have plenty of fucks to give this week.  Usually, I list down a few contenders then get to the one person who gets the fuck you.  This week has SO many deserving people, they all get one!  Let’s get started with our recipients, shall we?

Utah Sen Orrin Hatch, aka the Crypt Keeper.  Fucking Hatch is 106 years old and has been in the Senate since I was 12. I am old, I’m remembering Elvis being alive and not a punchline old.  This old fart was an adult in the goddamn 50’s.  He’s also Mormon. Nothing against Mormonism, but they’re not known as the most progressive of sects. So, our friend Orrin is basically a walking historical artifact…1950’s man.  Only, he’s not a cool 50’s guy like James Dean or Fonzie… he’s Potsie.  Imagine, Potsie at 84 years old.

As a GOP senator on the judiciary committee, Hatch has his share of protesters.  What many protesters, women, for the most part, are doing is sharing their stories of rape or sexual assault with senators voting on Kavanaugh.  Not throwing rocks and garbage, but stating their truth. When confronted by women doing this, he waved his hand in a “shooing” gesture and told them to “grow up”. Grow up. That old condescending motherfucker!  His disdain and dismissiveness for actual victims is frankly, horrifying.  This is 1950’s man in action. Women should be quiet and demure. It’s not that sexual assault didn’t happen in the 50’s…it’s just that women didn’t talk about it. That’s exactly the world Orrin Hatch would like us to go back to. Fuck you, you crusty old dinosaur.

Susan Collins, senator from Maine.  This was the final yes for Kavanaugh.  She had been wishy washyish and there was hope she might do the right thing, but nahhhh bitches.  Besides the usual blah blah party lines about Drunky McAngerpants she said she felt “bullied by the weeping sexual assault victims outside her office”.  You read that correctly.  Bullied by the weeping sexual assault victims. I’m pretty sure Collins doesn’t know what bullying is. If she’s okay with what Kavanaugh did to Dr. Blasey-Ford, but feels victimized by the tears of other victims, she’s flat-out anointed the Pick Me Bitch Queen.  Fuck you, Susan Collins, and your crown.

Men.  Yes, I said men. You know what I haven’t seen online or heard in person?  Men talking about #metoo and backing up women.  The manosphere is suspiciously silent.  Now, I’m not talking about misogynists.  They’re always spouting off about how awful women are. I’m talking about regular guys.  My friends, the guys I grew up with…men who I know have women in their lives.  Where is the support? Where are the public condemnations for Kavanaugh? Where is there a single shred of compassion for sexual assault victims?  Where the fuck are our male allies?  More men seem to be concerned about whether we view them as one of the “good ones” than doing anything to help.  You’re not.  If you are silent, if you aren’t acting every day to end rape culture…you’re not one of the good ones. If you think this is all just “politics” and doesn’t matter, you’re not a good one.   I will not reassure you. I will not validate your “goodness”.  We have a president who brags about sexually assaulting women.  We will soon have a Supreme Court justice who is an attempted rapist.  We know not all men are rapists or predators, we’re not stupid. Women know though, that too few men do anything to stop the ones who are.  You are the problem. Fuck you.

Wow, what a week!  That’s not meant in any kind of positive way.  What a terrible week to be a woman.  It’s even more awful if you happen to be a survivor of sexual assault.  We had to sit an watch a political fight over allowing a possible attempted rapist onto the Supreme Court. Some argued it didn’t happen, some arguing that it doesn’t matter if it did as it was 30 odd years ago.  Of course, many women felt that we should believe the victim and any shadow of a doubt is enough to keep Drunky McDrunkypants off the court.  Regardless, there were so very many horrible moments and just SO many people to choose from for our Feminist Fuck You Friday it was a difficult decision.

First, we have Fox News Contributor (Already ripe for a fuck you), Kevin Jackson.  He’s been a commentator on FN for a few years and wrote the book “Race Pimping: The Multi-Trillion Dollar Business of Liberalism.” which I am sure not one of you has read. Or ever seen in a store. Or ever heard of.  His comment about the Kavanaugh accusers was as sensitive and nuanced as you would expect from a Fox News employee. “Feminists are their own worst enemies, and enemy of women,” Jackson wrote on Twitter Thursday morning. “TO HELL with the notion that women must be believed no matter what. Lying skanks is what these 2 women are, and we ALL know more”.  He went on to blather more gobblygook about Dems waging a war on men ( I wish) and the usual conservative anti-woman propaganda. This story has a happy ending though…because Fox News fired his ass!  He never really fit in there anyway…

Let’s not forget the man of the hour, Brett Kavanaugh. Wow, what an obnoxious little prick he is!  His testimony after that of his accuser was a master class in white male entitlement. No remorse, no “I’m sorry” just an absolute rage at being called out for his shit. How many times did he mention how his “good name” had been tarnished? At no time did he appear to have any remorse.  He refused to answer questions posed and was outright disrespectful to Democratic senators. He was a whiny, crying, and belligerent hot mess.  It was pretty much the worst fucking job interview ever.  But, he’s white and rich so you know he’s going to be hired by the guys who look just like him whether he’s an angry violent drunk or not. We all know he’s lying though, and so does she.

Like last week though, we do have a clear-cut winner. Lindsey Graham, senator for South Carolina. Gurl….guuurrrlllll…we see you.  Miss Graham, if you’re nasty, used to be a critic of Trump back in the day.  They had a little golf outing…maybe some pictures were exchanged and all of sudden Lindsey is Trump’s biggest fan!  He went all the way in (no pun intended) with President Hobgoblin’s nomination of Barney Gumble.  He refused to entertain the very idea that any sexual contact occurred and basically called the accusers liars.  Thennnn…Sis went batshit and claimed it was all a big conspiracy by the Dems and the C word. ( Not that one…Lindsey’s never seen one of those…Clintons!) He then went on an angry rant about how Kavanaugh’s life was being destroyed by the allegations. No mention of how the victim’s lives had been changed. Uhh…his job interviews had harder questions…that’s about it. He’ll be fine.

Now, I have been told we’re not supposed to question Graham’s sexuality or gay shame him.  Uh huh…that’s great and all but as a GOP senator he votes on legislation that negatively affects women and LGTBQ people all the time.  If he’s compromised because of blackmail, or just operates out of general internalized homophobia and anti women dickishness he needs to be shamed.  There is no shame in being gay, but there is in being an asshole.  Just suck a dick already.  Better blatant than latent.  So, please join me…and Uncle Sam in awarding the Fabulous Miss Lindsey Graham a Feminist Friday Fuck You!!

Really, Lindsey…just go be gay and happy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have decided that every week I’m going to pick a recipient for a great big juicy fuck you. Someone who does, or says, something so egregiously anti-woman that they deserve all the shame and derision possible heaped upon them.  Someone so bloody awful, that even nonfeminists would say, “That’s some serious bullshit.”  This week, the inaugural one poses quite the challenge.  How to only pick one person to single out for this gift. There are just so many to choose from!!

There’s rotting gourd and tiny handed pussy grabber Trump. He’s been pretty quiet about the Kavanaugh kerfuffle then posted this little gem.

 

 

We all know one.  The “Pick Me Bitch”.  That woman or girl who has nothing good to say about other women. Hyper judgemental and more often than not, parroting the criticisms of women made by men. Quick to comment on other’s women’s lives by unfavorably comparing them to hers. She’s “not like other girls”.  She doesn’t engage in all the lame shit the rest of the feminine world does. She’s far too evolved to hang around other women with all their dramas. She’s too cool for female friends. She’s special.

Even if you don’t know one personally, you’ve seen them on TV or read their opinions.  You’ve seen the online posts and memes. They say and post such things as “if he cheats, it’s your fault”  “Men date sluts but marry good girls” “of course men see you as a ho, look at all the sexy selfies you post”   I can post myriad examples of women being awful to other women. All going back to how the poster is different and so much better than the thots. (That is a word that means “that ho over there” cute huh?)

Why? Why do women do this?  Male approval, of course!  Now, some of us may not know that’s why…but that’s why.  We may learn it from our parents and society. The male view is always the dominant view.  We may not even be aware when we do it, but think about how common it is.  Basically, she’s internalized the misogyny that’s all around us every day.  Men do not like or are confused about things women may do and so those things become derogatory. The pick me girl repeats and believes the core male beliefs about women.  This can manifest in so many different ways. Think of all the things about women men complain about.

Why does this even matter? Who cares if some women don’t like other women?  It matters because the pick me girl is validating all those make bullshit assumptions about how women are.  She’s telling them that their sexist opinions are true.  It makes misogyny okay. How can a man’s thoughts about women be wrong when there are women who can prove his point?  Feminists are just too sensitive and uptight. This girl is “one of the guys” in the worst possible way.  Think of GOP woman politicians and you get the gist of the issue.

There’s nothing I can do to change individuals behavior. I can’t make “pick me”s stop being so problematic.  I can call them out on their bullshit and I often do.  I had an incredibly brainwashed girl tell me a victim of an assault was “asking for it” because she was alone with two guys.  I’m pretty sure that a conversation she won’t forget. We sometimes think as feminists, that we can’t fault other women. Bullshit, anyone supporting rape culture needs to be told what’s what…and in the strongest of terms. Be vocal and always remember that silence often is viewed as tacit agreement.  Tell the Pick Me Bitch exactly what she is…a bitch.