Our Descent Into Mehness

“This is not who we are.”  I have read this countless times over the last month or so.  When we find out Border Patrol agents are separating parents and children.  Social media explodes with umbrage and post aplenty about how this isn’t how America.  Then we find out the government seems to have “lost” over 1400 of these separated children.  There was a hashtag #wherearethechildren that was all over Twitter…for about a week.  Now, we have word that our government plans on building “tent cities” to house over 5000 children.  Camps where we can warehouse these kids, many of whom’s parents have been sent off to prison uncharged of any crime.  Outrage!  “This is not who we are.”  No, this is exactly who we are. THIS IS WHO WE ARE.

I grew up, thanks to my father, a student of history.  I learned about WWII and the Holocaust very young.  My exposure to the horrors men can visit upon one another happened when I was a child.   I sometimes feel it’s a lesson most people my age and younger haven’t learned.  We grew up in what was mostly peacetime.  Wars were far away and weren’t anything you were exposed to unless you volunteered for the military.  Unless you were from another country, you had no real understanding of what atrocities are. Those things happened in other countries. Rwanda, Bosnia, Cambodia…nothing like that could ever happen here in the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave.  We’re better than that.

The myth of American exceptionalism.  We are the most moral and upstanding of people.  As Reagan said, America is a shining city on a hill built and fostered by divine providence.  Manifest destiny sent out West, killing and brutalizing as we went, ordained by God to seize whatever land we could see.  We tamed the wilderness and created huge farms and great wealth on the back of slaves stolen from their homelands. Bought and sold treated like chattel to do the work these noble men would not.  We have built a great nation for ourselves. For us. Let’s not mince words here.  The exceptional American is a white American.

Yes, yes…melting pot. We’ve all heard this and it’s a lie.  Sure we are a nation of immigrants, mostly European immigrants.  I can say my foremothers are from elsewhere.  German and Scottish mostly and you cannot get much whiter than that.  My ancestors were welcomed with open arms…while at the same time the government was not allowing Chinese immigration at all.  Immigration from Latin America has also been very tightly enforced once policies were set.  As much as those on the Right would have you believe it, immigration in the US is tightly regulated. Our melting pot has a lot of one ingredient.

You see, when we think of the average typical American we think of a white one.  Everyone else is different.  The standard is white, it’s always been white.  We’ve absorbed and accepted our own superiority and exceptionalism as fact.  We’ve set up a whole system that benefits us (white supremacy).  We created that shining city on the hill, to be enjoyed by those God has ordained rule it.  This has been an undercurrent throughout our history.  This unspoken and denied racist and supremacist ideology that is in the very bones of our nation has always been lurking.  We, partly in a need to separate ourselves from the fascists we fought generations earlier, kept that in check.  We were better than that.

We’re not. We’ve let a combination of economic uncertainty and propaganda create a fear of immigrants. Constant talk of our jobs being taken, of rapists and murderers pouring over our border, has been very very effective in tapping into that slow simmering racism that underlies our society.  We are told to fear anyone different and to keep out anything we fear. Muslims are all terrorists. Latinos are all MS13 gang members, not even human but bloodthirsty animals threatening us. All are dangerous and it is imperative the government protect good (white Christian) Americans from these threats.  Fear makes people sometimes do terrible things.  If you think that’s not true, Google some Nazi propaganda about Jews and tell me if you don’t see some familiar themes.

Am I comparing America to Nazi Germany?  Yes. We like to think that Germany was this huge country just FULL of Nazis. We like to think that Hitler only came to power and that the Holocaust happened because the entire country willed it. They all went mad.  I used to think that. It had to be true, what else could explain so many people just sitting by and doing nothing?  Good people would have done something, surely.  I no longer believe that. I watch good people now as human rights are abused in their names…do nothing. I see no real protest. Everyone goes about their day to day because it doesn’t touch their lives.  The government rips feeding babies away from their mother’s breasts and we stay silent. They aren’t us so we don’t care. We sit in silence and we are complicit in the terror being committed by OUR government. They all went mad. No, it wasn’t madness that created untold death and horror…it was apathy.  For God’s sake, wake up.

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Racial Profiling

Racial Profiling, it’s not just for cops anymore!  Well, it’s never just been theirs ever really. I’m a retail manager and have been for 25+ years. I’m going to be really really honest here. We racially profile customers ALL THE TIME.  Yes, we make assumptions about every person based on what they look like. Anyone who says they haven’t is a fucking liar.  I try very very hard to be mindful now, but in the past, I’ve made snap decisions about people in my store.

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Think about it retail peeps.  How many times has a manager told you to watch someone because they look “shifty”?  How many times have you thought someone looked suspicious and reported it to someone?  A few years ago I started paying attention to the circumstances around this and I noticed some things.  We would send out “security alerts” which would highlight suspicious activity or fraud/shoplifting attempts.  I started to notice that the descriptions had some similarities. Easily 70-90% of subjects were African American or Hispanic.  Those numbers seemed a bit off to me.  I asked about it and was flatly told that they are the people who are caught so, well, that’s that.

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The implication being that minorities were most likely to attempt to commit or commit crimes so they were caught more.  Before, you start to argue…I know cops who say the same thing. Let us be honest, when people question why there are more African Americans in prison based on their population the answer is…they commit more crimes.  Stop and think about that for a second.  The assumption that they are just inherently more criminal than everyone else.  It’s prevalent and deeply held belief by a lot of people.

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I think that’s a bullshit argument. In fact, I know it’s a bullshit argument. How?  Because I’ve seen why it is.  I started to pay attention to who we were “watching” in the store.  I became very aware of who we were judging as being someone who was up to no good.  Who were we following?  Who did we feel needed “extra customer service’?  Black people, that’s who.  Everyone was at attention if an African American or heaven forbid a group came into the store.  You would stop what you were doing to make sure they knew you were watching them. Every person in that store knows they’re there and is suddenly busy near them. Do not think for a second that people complaining about “shopping while black” treatment are exaggerating. They are absolutely not.

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Meanwhile, we’re not watching the people who are really shoplifting.  One time I was a computer on the sales floor but off of the aisle.  I was paged to the front and happened to have a woman pass by me and walk a few steps ahead of me towards the front.  She was a white lady very well dressed…business women type.  She was carrying a $300 set of sheets,  I walked behind her all the way up and saw her walk right by the registers and right out the door.  Not only did no one stop her…no one noticed her.  She walked right out the door with $300 like she was a fucking ghost. I could not believe it. Not that she was stealing but that no one paid any attention to her.

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No one paid her any attention because she wasn’t what we’ve been trained to believe a thief looks like. She wasn’t what we think a shoplifter is.  That made her invisible.  That was a fucking revelation.  I realized that our security alerts were full of minorities because that’s who we were watching.  Of course, we’re going to catch them doing more, we watch them so much more closely. For every security alert, we sent with a suspicious brown or black person on it how many other people just walked without us even seeing?  Now, look bigger. How many people are in prison because police “watch them more carefully”?  The expectation of criminality is different depending on the person’s race. So, yes we racially profile in retail. Every store does even if they have policies against it.  It’s bullshit and it’s wrong.  I do my best to change the culture from inside, but we’re just small part of a bigger problem.

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You’re A Racist, And So Am I

I’m pissed.  Not just cranky, full on pissed off. Why? Well, the bloviator in chief was up to his usual white nonsense. No surprise there.  What took me was how shocked people seemed to be that he called some countries (Haiti, El Salvador, hell, all of Africa) shit holes.  Supposed nonracist white America clutched their pearls and expressed their horror at what he said.  What is so fucking surprising here? Uhhh…the let’s build a wall to keep out Mexican rapists wasn’t a tip-off to his feelings?  The fact he was fined for discriminatory rental practices against African Americans multiple times?  Suddenly NOW he’s racist and vile? He’s been saying and doing shit like this for years.  He’s always been a fucking racist. White America…we elected him anyway.  No, we elected him because of it.

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When you ask people why they voted for Trump they say things like, “He tells it like it is”  “He says what we’re all thinking but are afraid to say” “He’s a straight shooter.”  The love the fact that he’s not politically correct. He says and does the things they wish they could.  The average American is racist. American society is racist. It’s all built on and invested in maintaining white supremacy.  Sure, we have this false veneer of this being a meritocracy.  We’re all told that we have an equal chance to succeed. All you have to do is look at our Public School systems to see this isn’t the case. It’s always been this way.  Because of Trump people aren’t hiding that anymore.

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Last night when the news of 45’s comments came out a woman I follow on Twitter made a few comments. She’s the child of Haitian immigrants, so she was rightly saddened and angered by what he said.  Her feed was immediately filled with white people saying things like vote, resist, and fight.  Couple things you need to understand well-meaning white folk.  People of color do not need our advice on how to resist or fight white supremacy.  They’ve been doing that shit forever without our help.  I’m sure all the POC you’ve been fucking ignoring all these years will cherish your advice on the struggle.

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Voting, much like myself, isn’t going to do dick.  Short term, sure.  If any of you think the midterms are going to solve this problem and make Trump go away, you are high.  Electing a slew of Dems is not going to do anything to change the very real reason we had Trump there, to begin with. We live in a racist society.  Trump isn’t the disease, he’s merely a symptom.  Telling minorities that they need to vote more often or resist more forcefully isn’t going to change anything.  It that were true, we’d be living in a different society. We, white people, are the problem.  We need to change us.

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How? I have no fucking clue. I’m not a politician.  I’m a middle-aged retail manager and I don’t have any answers. I can’t change the world.  I can tell what I do to try to affect my little piece of it.  I do not let other white people off the hook.  I fucking let them know that if they say shit around me it is not acceptable. I have flat out called people racists in meetings. I do not give a fuck anymore.  I’ve lost all of my fucks, I have no more left. I’m no longer going to let my silence make me complicit.  If you let racist people around you, even people you love, go unchallenged you are a collaborator.  Leaving racists unchallenged normalizes their words and actions. Don’t let them think that the garbage coming out of their mouths is okay. Tell them they’re being offensive and ignorant.  I’m done expecting other people to do the work.  I’m going to do my part in my tiny corner of the world.

 

Why So Cranky?

Aren’t Buddhists supposed to all mellow and calm?  Well, sort of.  One of the things I’m trying to become is less reactive. I don’t think anyone is even completely mellow but you can train yourself not to react without thinking about your reaction first.  That’s what I’m working on. I’m not going to lie though…it’s haaaaaaaarrrrddd.  I’m am by nature somewhat mercurial. I have a pretty quick temper but I never stay angry for very long.   I also struggle with patience.  I struggle with that one a lot.  I’m able to breathe through it but it’s not a feeling I’m exactly comfortable with.

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So much I still need to work on.  I’m getting better at being a witness to my emotions instead of letting them control me.  Letting them go after I’ve sat with them for a bit is also getting easier.  My general day to day experience is a pretty happy one.  My life is good for the most part.  I’m very lucky.  I have people who love me, whom I love back.   My material needs are met.  I don’t want for any necessities. I’m healthy.  So why am I such a crankypants?

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I’m cranky because I’m disappointed. The world makes me angry sometimes. The first noble truth is that you suffer. Generally, you suffer because you want or desire something.  Your ego or self creates conditions where it feels it can be happy…so, of course, you want those. I don’t know if I suffer because of anything I want. I’m distressed because the world has so much suffering and negativity in it. I’m cranky because I want it to be better for everyone.  I want people I love to not be treated differently than me because they’re a different race.  I’m mad that racists and bigots in this country suddenly feel they have a voice in society.  I’m upset that people I considered good people hold views that are prejudiced. I’m feeling defeated because hundreds of African Americans have died at the hands of police and nothing is done.  We live in a world where a simple phrase like “Black Lives Matter” is controversial. I don’t know how to change any of this. I don’t know how to make it easier for people of color.  I want it to be better.  I want US to be better. For fuck’s sake, let’s be better.

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So, I don’t have any answers.  I do my best to challenge and educate other white people on their bullshit.  I’m not here for their racist assholery and am vocal about my disgust. I don’t know what else I can do. I’ve tried to explain white privilege to people but I might as well be talking in Mandarin. People either don’t understand or don’t want to see it. Our entire society is built on racism. Our entire culture is based on white supremacy and is self-perpetuating. There’s nothing I can do to change it. The world I want is so very different from the one we have. It breaks my heart.  It makes me cranky.

 

It’s Never NOT Been Okay To Be White, Dumbass.

Where to even start with this shit.  It seems that most white people think they are being oppressed.  Stop laughing, no really.  Fifty-five percent to be exact think that there is discrimination against white people. I asked you to stop laughing.  They feel that being white makes them less equal…that minorities have more privilege and “get more” than they do.  It’s funny until you realize that these are the same people who put Donald Fucking Trump in the White House.

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How is this possible? Obviously, it’s patently untrue and provably so.  I could pull statistics out of my ass all the do dah day that prove that white people still hold the most power and privilege.  So, what’s the deal?  There’s one vital statistic that explains it easily.  When I was a wee Cranky Buddhist my Father told me “The average IQ in America is 100.”  I asked him what that meant. “Half the population is below that.”

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We Americans are easily suggestible.  While we like to envision ourselves as rugged individualists, we are as swayed by propaganda as easily as any other group. (Remember the Maine!)  We also believe ourselves to be benevolent and fair-minded. Why anyone in America can succeed if they work hard enough! Americans bought the idea that we have all been playing on an even field.  Any time you win, it’s because you worked harder and deserved it.  We’ve been told that everything we have, good and bad, is performance based. We all start with the same chance, if you fail, it’s your fault. loser

So,  most white people believe they’ve earned all the power and privilege that they have.  They’ve worked harder.  The social and economic success is a result of what can only be a superior work ethic.  White folks think they deserve to have it all, no one works harder or has had more success.  They are dominant in almost every area of American life and culture for that reason.   There is nobody prouder of America than a white American.  Why?  Because they see it as theirs.

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So, you have a base of not too bright Americans who are also, paradoxically entitled as fuck.  They’ve had the run of the nation for so long and that’s been great for them for the most part.  Things change.  Corporations and the rich are calling the shots now.  A kleptocracy is in charge. The wholesale looting of America is happening right now.  What better way to divert the attention of the yokelery than to play on white America’s insecurity about race?

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There has been a steady drumbeat of tales of threats to white people from the Right. Immigration, black crime, Muslims…nonstop shrill warnings of “others” coming for what we have. Your tax dollars going to welfare queens who drive nicer cars than you.  Black lives matter. Police unable to do their jobs. It’s constant stream of nationalist propaganda and it’s telling white America that they’re hated and under attack.  They’re afraid, afraid of losing what they feel is theirs.  Afraid of losing what they’ve worked so hard for, what they feel they won fair and square.  So they’ve become even more selfish and defensive.  It’s all built on lies.  Billionaires are picking their pockets and they’re blaming the wrong people. Blaming the people the pickpockets told them to blame.

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